I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
