like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
we're so committed to being not committed
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