is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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