my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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