If that was your dad, he is hot
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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