lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
