Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
3pm strippers are depressing
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
