Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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