so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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