So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
