Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
