garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
