i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hippo gnu deer
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
