WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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