he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
