I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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