Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
