It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
