I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
