woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
