I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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