Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
