I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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