and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am naked and annoyed.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
