Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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