How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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