I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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