you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
