I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
