i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
