By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
