just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
