I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
