If i come over, it means nothing
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
