what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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