White coat. Heels.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
