YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
