11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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