I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
