The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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