real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
