for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
