I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
