I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
is that a dick in a sweater?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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