And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
