I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think people are normalizing furries
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
