how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
