Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
