I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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