the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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