Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
