My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
